Wednesday, 30 May 2012

Fact of the Day

YouTube Video

Karina Evans 2012

Sunday, 20 May 2012

Facebook co-founder marries for (((hugz)))

Co-founder and CEO of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, today married his girlfriend in an 'intimate backyard ceremony.'
The couple tricked their family and friends into thinking the event was to mark the graduation of Zuckerberg's then girlfriend, Priscilla Chan.
'Mark created an event and added us to the guest list,' said one shocked wedding guest. 'I almost didn't go; I felt a bit tired and had run out of coffee LOL and felt a bit down and that, but someone said 'aww hun don't let em get you down ur betta than that,' so I went. I'm glad I did. There was a lot of food. I took photos of it and I shall post them on Facebook later so everyone can be sure I'm not hungry. ROFL.'
Mark and Priscilla poked each other thirteen times during the ceremony, which occurred a day after Facebook shares were floated on the stock exchange. The shares, disappointingly, closed just above the offering price of $38 a share, something which 28 year-old Mark is a bit annoyed about. 'Im a bit annoyed about the share thing lol,' said Mark last night. 'I expected them to make me richer than rich which is how rich I currently am. PMSL. Hugz? BRB. I'm off to 'like' my wife who 'likes' my shares. Do you have shares? They're there. How do you spell their? Their shares. They are shares. There shares. Their there they're. LOOOL.'
Karina Evans 2012

Sunday, 13 May 2012

William Hague teaches people things

Foreign Secretary William Hague has suggested that businesses ‘pull their socks up and send more stuff abroad.’ Mr Hague, in an interview with the Sunday Telegraph, stated that the UK should implement a brand new growth strategy, involving, not least, a higher production of goods and exportation.

‘We, as a country, need to reorientate,’ laughed Mr Hague. ‘I am painfully aware that Microsoft Word 2010 does not think ‘reorientate’ is actually a proper word, but I know it is. It is my word-baby. Try it on Scrabble, you could earn upwards of eleven points if placed correctly.’

Mr Hague, dressed as a school-teacher, also hollered that we need to ‘do more with less,’ stating this is the way to rescue the work ethic. He bellowed: ‘people need to learn to not really listen to me. I make stuff up. Businesses need to send stuff abroad. Everyone should leave on a jet-plane, taking their stuff with them. They should sell it, make money, make twice as much money, give money to me. Toilet roll could be sent abroad. You get twice as much toilet roll as you think, you know.’ Mr Hague demonstrated how to pull apart a two-ply sheet of tissue, before shouting: ‘your finger may go through it, but who cares? We don’t, not if it is sent abroad. Finger up arse. I am not the Foreign Secretary for nothing. Gobbledegook. Also, we could send watered-down ketchup and dried-out teabags. Teabags. Teabagging. I am not a gay. My throat is sore.’

Karina Evans 2012