Friday, 23 July 2010

Being famous

I may go into hiding, for I am now famous. My fringe and eyes were broadcast on, as Jeremy Kyle would put it, 'national television.' Nobody else refers to the television as 'national television,' mainly because there is no need. 'Television' would surely suffice?

I am frightened that I will be papped if I step outside the house, as the general public will have a yearning to know what is going on 'behind the fringe'. Which, incidentally, will
be the title of my autobiography.

A still from my national television debut is evidenced below:

Location:Parker Rd,Hastings,United Kingdom

Monday, 12 July 2010

Dutch pie rolls

There is a little bit of me that is Dutch. I have calculated that this part is most probably my left leg, compounded by the fact that my left ankle is aching after the Netherlands extra-time World Cup defeat at the hands of Spain. It could also have been exacerbated by my insistence on leaping in a gazelle-like manner for reasons known only to myself and my equally gazelle-esque colleagues.

On a pie note, I was very much hoping that the Australia thing was the beginning of a pie roll, and that perhaps I would be in line for a stream of publishing luck. This does not appear to be the case, and although I am almost ecstatic that my short story is being published (thus rendering me an actual 'freelance writer), I am also concerned that it is the only story I have ever written that hasn't come from my heart. Maybe the real stuff should be written for cathartic purposes only. A good friend of mine quite rightly pointed out that we all have to compromise, and that perhaps this is mine. Stories that skim the surface of reality; I can live with that. Thank you, my good friend.

I hope that isn't a mosquito that just landed on my face.

Location:Parker Rd,Hastings,United Kingdom

Friday, 2 July 2010

A big fat suburban pie

I haven't been in the land of Blog for a while, mostly due to having nothing to say. Today, however, is different, based on that fact that the Australians bought my pie. Oh yes. One story pie, two pages long, entitled 'Suburbia' is being cooked by editors in preparation for its debut in That's Life Fast Fiction spring edition. Oh yes. That feeling I have right now? That feeling is EXACTLY why I bother with the pies in the first place...

PS. I'm still a little annoyed that I haven't got my greedy hands on an iPhone 4 yet, though.

Location:Parker Rd,Hastings,United Kingdom