Tuesday, 15 June 2010


The Advancement of The Volcano has hit a brick wall. Initial agent has cruelly rejected it. I feel I require some therapy from an amateur.

Location:Parker Rd,Hastings,United Kingdom

Round and round and round

I am at work. 'What a stupid time to be at work', I hear you cry, and I am inclined to agree. This is for three main reasons: the first being that it is four-oh-fucking-five in the morning. The second is that I have had to bloody well drive all the way to Eastbourne for the 'pleasure', and the third that I have been temporarily demoted, thus have to walk round and round in fucking circles every sodding twenty minutes to look at people who are, quite sensibly, asleep. Operation Shawshank, for the love of God, will you HURRY UP...

Location:Courtlands Rd,Eastbourne,United Kingdom

Monday, 14 June 2010

All the best laid plans

Right. Fairly productive morning, as I have already completed the following tasks:

Inadvertently shown the meter-reading man my nipples
Had a cup of coffee
Decided what I am going to do for the rest of the day.

That brings me nicely to the tasks I must complete:

Finish poem that I never should have started: it is the poetry equivalent of emotional bulimia, thus is eating my brain
Finish doodle article
Eat crisps
Go to work
Get changed into more substantial clothes, lest I scare the postman.

All the best laid plans...

Location:Parker Rd,Hastings,United Kingdom

Wednesday, 9 June 2010

Curious oranges

I used to quite like a programme called 'This Morning With Richard, Not Judy' in which there was a curious orange. The orange was rather cynical, much like myself, and therefore I insist that if anyone decides to liken me to a fruit in the future I am likened to a curious orange. The only problem being that I do not have banana fingers.

PS. Today I was forced to write poems about blue strawberries and sweaty socks. I feel emotionally violated.

Location:Parker Rd,Hastings,United Kingdom

Tuesday, 8 June 2010

Cheese, stories and oodles of vodka

Oh bugger. Back to reality today, the birthday celebrations are sadly over, therefore is time to return to Shawshank. Bollocks. I have had a beautiful week: sun, children, vodka, lots and lots of writing and an unprecedented amount of cheese. That's the life.

Location:Parker Rd,Hastings,United Kingdom